Thoughts from a Weird, Strange, Funny Girl
I’ve been wanting to write for weeks now it seems but what, I’m not sure. I mean I do, but I don’t know how.
I want to write about good things, about fat pride, showing others how to love their bodies and be happy. But I don’t know how to write about it. Mostly because it’s such an open ended answer. What is happy for one is misery for another. Their are basic principles and guidelines of course for happiness but then I would sound like one of those cheesy boards you see a thousand times fold on Pinterest.
I write little things all the time on Facebook that make me happy and yet at the same time I keep a thousand moments closed. I mean I do think you need boundaries about what you post online and you need some what of a semblance of a private life off the internet but, I find myself in such abundance of moments of laughter and happiness that I just want to share with the world all the time. I want to remember each and every moment of inexplicable bliss. But I don’t, or at least just a very small fraction of it.
I also want to share the deep and philosophical thoughts I have or read but rarely do. For instance, I am rereading the Vampire Lestat by Anne Rice and I am in absolute love with the deep issues she presents in such an subconscious way. Then their is Author Miller in An Enemy of the People where the doctor stands up and preaches about the majority and what is right and what is wrong. There are poems and stories I have read since I was sixteen that have touched and affected who I am and why I think the way I do.
But I never share any of that, why? I want to and I think it is important for people to understand… I am just stumped at where I want to go and how I want to share it. For instance today I am bringing a coworker a book I’ve had for years called Can You Keep a Secret? By Sophie Kinsella. On the surface it’s just another chick lit author. But on a deeper level, it explains in all of us, the little absurd and funny secrets held in all of us. And on another level I relate to the character for always disappointing or coming last in life simply for being nice and letting other people put me on the back burner. Stuff like that I want to share but it just doesn’t feel like enough. It feels like what I write should be larger than life and always leave you questioning. What I write should always leave you feeling better about yourself.
Anyway, I am just stumped for now… until I find some inspiration.