Thoughts from a Weird, Strange, Funny Girl
Hitch: Do you know the definition of perseverance, Miss Melas?
Sara: An excuse to be obnoxious?
Hitch: Continuing a course of action without regard to discouragement, opposition or previous failure, over.
I am going to call this week as far as how I feel it went based on success… a wash. Mostly because I was going strong up until Tuesday (or roughly the time of my last blog entry). Now I’m not blaming my last entry to be the reason or fault at all. My sudden lack of drive fell more due to the fact that it was the beginning of my weekend and thereby feeling as if I could go a bit slack and take it easy. Only, I went a bit too far and did absolutely nothing. Actually, worse than nothing. I spent very nearly the entire weekend either sleeping in bed or on my tush in front of the couch.
Normally, this is not an unusual situation for me, I’m just not all that active of a person. I would like to be, deep down, but on a whole (and if I’m being completely honest here), I just don’t feel like it. Laziness rules again! Enter sarcastic horrah here. Its not like I’m proud of this fact, I’m not. If anything it’s embarrassing. Deep down that is not the person I want to be.
So then this morning I got to thinking. Instead of feeling overwhelmed with trying to play catch up (which lets face it, we all try to do when we’re behind) and feeling really guilty about it… why not access the facts. After all, if it does not fit, you must acquit!
So I asked myself instead, maybe the tasks I’m giving myself to do are too hard. A silly thing to say because I know they are far from but maybe somewhere in the back of my head I need to appease the over indulgent lazy gene. Break the projects I have in mind down to something even smaller. And smaller. Trick myself if I have to, to feeling like I’m not accomplishing much when instead it’s the opposite. Sort of like tricking myself to getting out of my own way.
This is all just a theory of course. But as of today, I’ve already achieved today’s goal and it’s not even six am yet. Plus of course a couple other little details I’ve already worked on too. On top of all of that, I’m writing again! All in all, I feel even the slightest bit better and feel good. I just always need to remind myself, it’s okay to fail at something. Failing just gives us the opportunity to reevaluate and reassess ourselves. Failure is letting ourselves even evolve!
On a side note, I am so happy that my positive healthy vibes have finally worn down on my boyfriend Monkey. The other day, he finally came to me about wanting to eat better. After talking for awhile, we came the goal of starting the first of April to eat completely healthy. No junk food in the house, way less process foods (which means I will need to learn how to cook!) And best of all he will be giving up soda with me! Yay! He says it’s finally time which are words I’ve been waiting to hear from him for months! I think it’s because of all the fruit I’ve been bringing home, he has been losing weight (more than me grr to which I have gained all of mine back! Grr but oh well, I haven’t been good. I’ve been over indulgent and a gluttent.) Anyway, it’s still a long journey to go and I don’t know how well it will go but having him finally on board feels like I will be more successful (verses him always being supportive but not joining in)